I Miss Cleaning

I'm not saying that I'm ungrateful for having a job, even part time, considering how many people are out of work right now, but I already miss cleaning. Like, not the actual act of cleaning my home, but even in just one week of working outside of the home, I just don't want to do anything. I'm tired and I don't want to clean.

I need to clean, I'm going to clean, but I used to actually love doing it. Strange huh? At heart I'll always be a Happy Housewife and nothing else and that's fine with me. This is a season.

I really don't understand women who hate being housewives. Who get bored being housewives. Make a choice to be happy. If you choose to be home, then do your job there. If you choose to work, then do it there. Really tho, I love being a housewife. I love cleaning, I love decorating my home, I love grocery shopping and cooking and waiting for my husband to come home from work so I can dote on him a bunch.

But so far everyday this week he picks me up from work and we both come home and just crash on the couch. The house is a wreck and we haven't had a home cooked meal all week.

I need to figure out how to work outside of the home for a few hours a day and still be a housewife. 3 hours a day does not take away my housewife status. That is my job, but being home is my career, my life.

I need to find that balance and embrace it.

I also need my carpets shampooed still.


Daily Gratitudes:

1. Orange Juice in the early morning.
2. The speakers on my computer stopped making an annoying whirring noise.
3. The dogs are well behaved.
4. My husband got a raise!
   
5. My playlist which I'm hoping will perk me up and give me some darn energy!

Love Booklet:

1. My hard working hubby got a raise this week, just proving what an amazing guy he is! He works so hard at his job to provide for us.
   

Working Outside the Home - Purposes

I know what some of you are thinking.. "How many more times can she remind women not to work outside of the home?" But oddly, that's not what I'm about to talk about. I'm going to talk about times when it's helpful to work outside of the home, and the purpose behind it.

Working During a Financial Crisis - In this economy it is very common for husbands to lose jobs. Things get tight and because we live in a two car / two income world, sometimes it's harder to make things meet. I believe that as long as someone is home to care for children, and the husband is earnestly seeking employment, it is perfectly fine for a wife to work outside of the home. Temporarily.

Working During Financial Debt - It's also harder because we live in a time when the recent generations have been taught the concept of "buy now, pay later," and are now suffering the consequences of their actions. I highly believe that before making the decision to work outside of the home because of debt, you should ask yourself the questions listed in this post, and then decide accordinly.

Working to Build Savings - This is an honorable thought. Take on a job to help secure your familys future. But what happens to your familys present? Is the savings going toward future emergencies, doctors bills, a new home, a future family, or perhaps a vacation, a brand new car, or a bigger and fancier life? Where are your prioritites? Is it at all possible to learn to budget, be frugal and live a simpler life and take the money saved and add to savings instead?

Working for Yourself - You are a career driven person and you don't see a problem with how the daycare is raising your child. Because of long hours at the office you are able to provide adequate take-out for your family nightly, and instead of bonding with your home, you are able to hire a maid. You may miss a dance recital or two, but don't you deserve your fulfillment too?! This is the wrong way of thinking. It is selfish. Family should always come first, especially if you have children.

So in the end it all comes down to this question, "What is best for all concerned?" Not what is best for you, your husband, the economy, the children. What is best for all concerned? If you choose to work outside of the home for any of the above reasons, will anyone suffer for it? Will you spend more money on daycare than you'll make in the long run? Will your children be forced to eat McDonalds nightly because you're too tired to cook? Will your relationship with your husband suffer because you lose that time together?

It is a decision to make together.

So why am I talking so much about this the past few weeks? Because I am officially working outside of the home. My reasons I feel are honorable ones. My husbands paycheck is adequate for our daily needs. However, because of past mistakes, we have incured a bit of debt. I will not be working to pay off the debt so we can go on another cruise (though that would be nice) or so we can buy a brand new car or big house.

My paycheck will be applied to our debt and savings only. We are doing this so that when all is said and done, we are not relying on my paycheck to survive. Once out of debt and with a stable savings balance, we will use this to help start our family. We've known for some time now that fertility treatments or adoption are roads that we are looking toward, and we want to prepare now so we can enjoy later.

Thankfully I searched diligently for a job to meet my requirements. One that would have a flexible schedule, allow me part time should I choose. Something that was nearby so I could walk to work (and get healthy in the process). Something that is low stress and a bright environment. I am grateful to have found something that fits my specifications.

A part of me, the old competitive show off me, believes that I could rise fast in my new company. But the new me, the permanent me, understands and accepts that this is a temporary situation to benefit my eternal family in the long run. It was a decision made by both my husband and I, and I took his counsel very seriously. This is what will work for us, right now.

Daily Gratitudes:

1. A husband who gives me wise counsel and appreciates any effort I do.
2. A new job that offers me a flexible schedule so that I will still be able to care for my home and family.
3. Acupuncture - My back pain is still gone, as is my knee pain and my edema is getting much better!
4. Top Ramen. It's so bad for me, but tastes sooo good.
5. Ice packs that came with my roses the other week. I've been reusing them to help with the swelling in my legs and it's been soo much better!!

Love Booklet:

1. My husband came home the other day with a bouquet of gorgeous flowers. He noticed that my roses were dying, and that I had thrown them out, so he went and bought flowers just because he knows ow I love having fresh and beautiful things in the home.
2. One of my favourite drinks is Mormon Punch (sherbert with sprite), and I finished off my soda the other day but still have like a huge gallon of sherbert, so after I got home last night from orientation at work, my sweet husband pointed out that he bought me a new bottle of sprite.
3. My back was cramping a bit last night so I didn't get to bed til around 2am. Hubby woke up when I came to bed and instead of being angry that I woke him up, he rolled over and rubbed my back until I fell asleep, and then got up two hours later to go to work. What a man!

Featured at: Talk About Tuesday and Gratituesday


Image: FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Everything to Me

I was listening to my iPod and found one of my favourite songs by Brad Paisley. "She's Everything to Me" is one of my all time picks. When my husband first downloaded the whole Brad Paisley discography he insisted that I never play that song, and it's because when he hears it, it's exactly how he feels about me, and he tends to get emotional. It's so sweet. The song really does describe me almost perfectly, so I play it over and over and over for him.

So I thought I'd take the same song and rewrite the lyrics a bit to fit my dear, sweet, amazing, wonderful man!

Here's a video of the lyrics to the original song:

He's a backwards cap on bad hair days
Favorite pair of cargos
He doesn't think that he looks great
Shows just how little he knows
He's a babe go make a sammich
Bring some apple cider
He's a sexy kinda bossy
And one heck of a provider

He's a play with all the children
Wishin' he had his own
He's a call me on his lunch break
Always picks up the phone
He's a listens to my every word
Even when he's tired
He's a kiss around my neck
Always makes me feel desired

And he's everything I ever wanted
And everything I need
I blog about him, I go on and on and on
'Cause he's everything to me

He's a Saturday guys night in
Priestholder on Sunday
He's a pinch my rear in the hall
And a family man come Monday
He's a takes the trash out everyday
Even though he's stressed
He's rubbing on my shoulders
God how much I'm blessed!

He's the best friend that I've ever known
And the man I'm always eyeing
He's the one who sees my bad side
He's the shoulder where I'm crying
The one I pray for most often
Proof there's love in heaven
He's the answer to my prayers
Gives me something to believe in

And he's everything I ever wanted
And everything I need
I blog about him, I go on and on and on
'Cause he's everything to me

He's the other side of the bed
Hazel eyes staring at me
Who could have thought when I was young
That he could marry me
When he says babe I love you
There's a stirring in my heart
I dare a soul
To try to keep us two apart

And he's everything I ever wanted
And everything I need
I blog about him, I go on and on and on
'Cause he's everything to me

And he's everything I ever wanted
And everything I need

Daily Gratitudes:

1. Backwards caps.
2. Apple cider.
3. Big strong shoulders.
4. Hazel eyes.
5. Forever

Featured at: Then Sings My Soul Saturday, I am Blissfully Domestic, and Homemaker Mondays

Ultimately Happy and Fascinating (Study Group)

Originally posted January 2009.

To say that the first year of my marriage was a bit rocky would be the understatement of the century.

Take one hot tempered Irish red head, mix in feministic upbringing, add a dash of divorce rate in the family, beat together two months of hormone overloading birth control pills and ten hour shifts of work . . .  pour over one unsuspecting husband and bake until crazy.

If I didn't have the complete faith I have in our love, I'd be shocked that we survived the first year too! Truth was, though I wanted to be the submissive, sweet, doting housewife, I didn't know how to be . . . and the path that took me to this point was rocky, and hard, and I fought it for quite a bit. It's been a progress.

Advice from other married women, Church leaders, and especially prayer helped quite a bit . . . and then of course there were books.

My addiction to self help books is quite astounding. I can't read fiction at all. I need to constantly improve myself, if not for me than for the benefit of my husband and future children. So I got every book on marriage I could find. Most I turned away. They didn't make sense to me. They were suggesting what I was already doing, and it just wasn't working. Some talked about how being a housewife was something of the past, and that submission to a man turns you into a doormat. Not to mention, not a one of them taught me how to clean worth anything!

A few lessons from one of my aunts, and The Ultimate Career given to me by my mother in law helped when it came down to cleaning, organizing and learning the things that I was never taught as a little girl. The book was helpful, specific, and most importantly, it was written by and for an LDS woman, just like me. This book helped my home.

It would be a few years before I found my next step. Though I could clean, I didn't so much enjoy it. I was constantly hiding away from questions asking me what I did for work. "Oh this and that." I'd say. Or I'd throw in the famous, "I'm a Domestic Executive." Because the word "housewife" seemed shameful. I was making myself and my husband miserable in my denial and confusion when it came to my place in life. That was when I found Happy Housewives.

Saying that this book changed my life would be under appreciating the value it brought into my world. It wasn't only eye opening and helpful, but it was written as though the author was speaking directly to me. I read the book in a total of just a few days, and I was suddenly uplifted in my position as a housewife. The Happy Housewives Club (the books website) opened a new world for me. I found women on the forums just like me (but so different in many ways) many of whom have become my dearest and closest friends for life. Not only did I find there daily support from others who had read the book, but the author, Darla Shine spoke to me persoanlly, and has become a dear friend. This one book changed me forever. This book helped ME, so I could help others.

But there was one thing lacking still. My marriage. Ultimate Career and Happy Housewives improved it so much that it's hard to recall that first year (without crying). It was a good marriage, but I wanted something deeper. Try as I might, I couldn't control everything, nor could I force my husband to be the man I knew he could be. I had gone so many years being one way, that it was obvious where I had gone wrong. I had heard about Fascinating Womanhood, but it wasn't until my friend Liss spoke about it that I went in search of answers. It was everything I wanted. A strong, masculine husband . . . I could be the sweet and feminine housewife. We could be firm in our gender roles assigned by God, and simple steps in this book helped (so quickly) to fix the problems I had once created.

As of right now, I'm still working, but aren't we all? I have become a Happy Housewife, a Fascinating Woman, who has the Ultimate Career!

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Speaking of still working, for those who are interested, I am currently running a study group for Fascinating Womanhood. To keep the privacy of the members, it is a private blog right now. So if you're interested in joining, send an email over to untypicallyjia@gmail.com to let me know that you're interested.


Daily Gratitudes:

1. The FW Study Group (local girls) will meet here tomorrow! I'm excited! I know the girls showing up are two of my best friends anyways, but a part of me feels like I'm throwing some cute little afternoon tea or something. Maybe I should make cucumber sandwhiches or something LOL!
2. Matt's finally feeling a bit better and has promised to call the doctor Monday if his throat is still sore.
3. After my girls day tomorrow, the boys are having a night of videogames and movies again. I love boys night. It's nice to see that they get a chance to have fun too.
4. I'm grateful for pepsi. Oh pepsi....
5. Matt called the front office to figure out how to work the swamp cooler! (Yep, it's finally decided, we have a swamp cooler) and the house has actually been nice and cool the last few days!

Featured at: Coffee's On and Finer Things Friday